December 29, early

Darkness and cold mix nicely because both are unwelcoming, and even though it wasn't that dark, and it wasn't that cold, my friend wasn't being friendly. I told her, and it pained me to say it, but who does that show more about? I messed up, and that's a habit, and to nearly be expected. But her? The one who used to pride herself on holiness, and acting like a Christian, simply letting go of my arm and walking away from me? What kind of friend is that? No friend at all? No, she's still a friend, but not a very good one.

Yet.

"The world is a broken place, and if you don't show that, you're lying." ~Señor Schemper

Showing the world that the world is a broken place comes all too easily. I've seen all the darkness I can want to see and yet showing that there is good doesn't come naturally. Writing about good is boring as hell too because who cares about the unicorn hopping over the fence from green grass into green grass? Now most stories talk about the unicorn going from brown grass to green grass, and that's okay, but something in me doesn't want to show the "redemptive qualities of life." Why is that? Have I never seen nor felt redemption in my life to the extent where I feel the need to evangelize on it? What kind of Christian does that make me? Does that mean I haven't fully accepted myself a sinner, or even worse, fully accepted grace? 

what

the 

fuck